Man, I really suck at developing habits.
19 was the time in my life where I wanted to be Christopher McCandless, fall in love with the wilderness, and love the world while letting it love me back….and die apparently. Full of optimism and hope, dreams and desires was 19. I felt like I could do anything and did whatever I wanted.
Two weeks before summer break ended, after a long summer of kidney punishment, I decided to go to a “sober” bonfire down by the river with my buddies. I grabbed a six pack of red bull, got in my brand new (used) Passat that I got that day, and went down to river to prey….on women.
The fire started pretty quick, no problems there; I bought a used book at a dollar store to start it. Sun was still up for a bit and I noticed some people down the beach. This was pretty normal having more than one group of people on the beach at the same time. In the past I’ve met some really neat folks over bonfires, guitar, and local brews.
But this night was different. There were three of them, one guy two girls, drinking lemonade by a huge piece of driftwood. I went over alone, why not? They had been drinking a bit, but I just figured they were high on life. The two girls were getting their picture taken. I swung my arm around one of them and told her my name. They introduced themselves (Emma and some other chick) and the camera flash went off. It’s a great picture, really, hilarious.
I decided to partake in the drinkidge and the two parties of people combined. There were groups at the fire and at the docks. As the night went on I remember less and less, but I do remember using the word magnanimous.
Eventually we ended up sitting around the fire. At this point I was pretty buzzed. I got both of the girls numbers (stud). One of them was all over me and it was pretty annoying. I kept trying to talk to Emma, but the other girl kept trying to distract me.
For some reason I thought it would be cool to show them my new car, so we stumbled over singing and yelling. The weird girl put her arm around me and told me that she was so drunk that anyone could make out with her and she wouldn’t care. I replied, “don’t you have a boyfriend or something?” “no.” she replied.
For some reason it ended up being me, my buddy Milford, and this crazy broad sitting on a curb in the parking lot. She kept asking me to make out with her, how she wouldn’t ever care. Eventually she just kissed me. I looked up at Milford and he looked like he was about to lose some hair from his giant afro.
When Emma came back with her friend she didn’t seem surprised. They left.
The night ended. I sobered up and drove home. I felt like everyone hated me. I hated me. It was so cliche’, so ridiculous. What had I become?
My friends were supportive the next day. Laura, Joe, and I had formed a bond over the three people we now never talk about.
This didn’t stop me from being an idiot, however. I kept texting Emma, not really sure why. I guess I was curious about her. And props to her for even answering my texts at all. Especially when I rambled on about my lentil soup and avid watching of M*A*S*H.
Long story short, we ended up meeting for coffee one day. It was nice. We had a lot of great conversations. In fact, after coffee, we decided to go on a walk and continue talking. After the walk we decided to drive to another coffee shop! A place where I broke up with a previous girlfriend. Eek.
We kept talking and kept meeting. And the underlying thought in both of our minds was “andrew is leaving bye bye time soon”
What was I supposed to do? That was the conflict at this point. One day we met in the park. It was the day of the opening ceremonies for the summer Olympics. We met in the park. She was pissed. Apparently she got the idea that I was “playing her”. First of all anyone who knows me knows that I haven’t the slightest ability to “play”.
We decided to put things on hold till I came back for winter break, or so I thought. As we said goodbye, she kissed me. I asked for another and my request was granted.
LOVE
Over the next few days we spent all the time we had together. Just being stupid and in love. I sang songs for her in the park with my guitar and she liked that a lot.
The day I had to leave I stopped by her house to say goodbye. I gave her an empty bottle of my cologne. I feel so arrogant looking back on that. Hah.
I spent the next few days traveling slowly down south to God’s Country, Costa Mesa. I camped alone and did a lot of hiking. It was great, but I missed Emma a lot.
We beat the odds, though. Were still together.
The biggest lesson I learned at 19 was that love can give you the ability to conquer any obstacle. I only knew Emma for two weeks, but it was enough to get us through a year long long distance relationship. And that distance gave us the ability to respect and value each other. I can’t tell you how many times I see people in relationships treating each other awful for no apparent reason. I think most people just lack perspective, which is one thing I am lucky to have.
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